Happy Halloween!!

Warning: If you're easily creeped out, don't ever watch anything by Tim Burton. That includes this.

Stay safe as bats fly about and nightmares creep into your beds.

WARNING: UNSOCIALIZED

Confession time: I'm a homeschool kid and I'm proud to be unsocialized.

I wish I weren't so socially awkward, but I'm proud to be unsocialized.

That being said, I'm not exactly using the conventional, dictionary definition of "socialize" which is what people usually look at to define socialization (get your act together people).

Socialization refers to a psychological/sociological process that teaches, according to dictionary. com,

"the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position"

If you scroll further down the page, the British definition is much more to the point, defining socialization as follows:

"the modification from infancy of an individual's behaviour to conform with the demands of social life"

I don't know about you, but this sounds like socialization means conforming. I want to be my own person and have my own thoughts, thanks very much.

Of course, as a homeschooler, of one of the most common questions we hear is "But what about socialization?"

So what about it? I have no intention to conform to all of society's norms. It's more fun being my own person.

You can have your socialization.

I'll be my own weird person.

Librarians

When people say the word librarian, I just kind of blank out. It's just a nice blank white space.

Because I think of different librarians in different contexts. Outside of those contexts, I don't know which to think about. I like both, to a certain extent. Neither of them really jump to the forefront of my mind.

Words have power, but sometimes there's just so much that comes to mind that I blank out.

Iko Kasahara from Library Wars: Love & War is a librarian. Of a sort.

its so pretty @_@

I love the story (this is one of the few series where I want to buy all the books and make myself go broke -- like FMA). I tend to think of Kasaraha because she's the protagonist in the series and the premise of the series is intriguing. It stuck.


I also tend to think of Shasta Smedry from the Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians series.

Shasta's the grumpy woman on the right.

...yeah, that doesn't exactly help my perception of librarians.

Not all librarians are evil. But most of them are. And Brandon Sanderson does an excellent job portraying them as such.


Obviously, these are fictionalized librarians, but they still affect my perception of librarians. Are they good, willing to do anything to protect the freedom to read? Or are they evil, controlling the information that we're given?
What do you think?

The Perfect Word

I am a writer.

I'm not a very good one, but I am a writer. And as a writer, something that intrigues me is the fact that some of the concepts in journalism are so essential to fiction, yet those concepts are often overlooked.
Most importantly, the idea of using specific words in the perfect arrangement.

The most valuable of all talents is that of
never using two words when
one will do. -Thomas Jefferson

I've heard this quote before and I've seen examples of the concept in fiction (a series that is highly praised for its use of this exact idea is Maggie Stiefvater's Raven Cycle) but it never truly struck me how important it is for a storyteller to do this.

Of course, importance usually makes it harder. In fact, it is often painfully hard to write prettily (not necessarily concisely).

I have made this letter longer than usual,
only because I have not had the time
to make it shorter -Blaise Pascal

It takes way more effort to choose specific words than to just let everything flow out.

I'm a spewer. I just type what's on my mind. It's much harder for me to choose which words capture what I want to say in a more precise manner.

This is essential to a journalist so that they don't risk offending people and losing their position. It's also important to (at least in theory) use specific language to keep from showing specific bias.

It's also essential to a writer. Words convey emotion, whether anybody realizes that or not. When setting a scene, brilliant blue describes a completely different emotion from soft blue.

Words are important and it matters which ones you use.

Choose the perfect word. Don't settle for less. Your writing will benefit from it.

Growing Up

....means maturity?

What does maturity even mean? Is it a mindset? Something that naturally happens? Is it deeper than that?

The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines maturity as follows:

the quality or state of being mature

Of course, this leads to an obvious next question; what is maturity? Again, consulting the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

having or showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult

This seems to be getting nowhere. What does it mean to adult? Merriam-Webster defined "adult" as follows:

mature and sensible: not childish

Wow. Well, that went full circle on me. Time to consult another source. What does our culture think it means to adult? I consulted the Urban Dictionary to find my answer and came up with the following:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Humorous, but not quite what I was hoping for. I scrolled further down the page in search of something deeper. I was not disappointed.

A depressed child. Adults have the notion that juveniles need to suffer. Only when they have suffered enough to wipe out most of their joyous spirits and innocence are they staid enough to be considered 'Adult'.

The others were interesting, to be sure, but not nearly as capturing as this one. Also profanity. So, y'know.

That being said, is that truly what it means to adult? To be a grumpy, depressed, lifeless being? Does adulting mean that you become a dementor, sucking the life out of others?

I mean, that kinda sucks. I don't want to be a dementor.

Here's the thing. People tell me I have adult qualities, that I'm "mature" and "responsible". I just tell them that they don't know me very well.

They haven't seen me avoiding work. They haven't seen me missing deadlines.

They see me as a role model for their children (if their kids turn out anything like me, they're doomed).

I have a childhood friend who has been an adult since the day she was born. Never in trouble, not really into fist-fights/hair pulling/pinching/teasing like I was. Her sense of humor finally emerged publicly couple years ago, shocking many.

Our families are friends, so we interacted a lot as kids. Throughout the years, her siblings and my siblings (myself included) always looked at her and saw her as the ideal adult. We saw her as "this is what we look forward to -- this is the ideal adulting".

We probably thought it would just magically happen (if it didn't then we'd failed and our families would hate us or something).

Now I'm a legal adult, her younger brother is almost a legal adult... and there has been no magical transformation.

But that's okay. Because adulting is different than what we thought.

It doesn't mean perfection. It doesn't mean soul-sucking. It doesn't even mean boring. It doesn't mean a whole lot, actually.

Yes, there's responsibility involved with getting older. Bills have to be paid, the body needs to be fed, jobs need to happen... As we get older, we have to accept these responsibilities. I think it's part of the maturing process. But that doesn't mean that the fun in life is gone.

Our Tae-Kwon-Do Grandmaster is... a dork. Don't tell him I said that. Or call him that to his face. But he really is. However, he understands that there is a time and place for everything.

If he's instructing, he's very serious. On the flip side, he also enjoys hanging out with us juvenile delinquents in the making and seriously gets into card games like Slapjack (he's super competitive like the rest of us, so games are almost like war because he'll do almost anything to win). He'll throw Hi-Chews at us, toe-pinch us, and tease my little brother to no end -- when the situation allows him to goof off like that. But if he needs to be serious, he'll be very serious and adult-y.

I'm going to take a page from his book as I continue to grow up and mature.

There's a time and place for everything -- especially fun.

Live joyfully, have fun.

Happiness Is...

...sitting in Chick-fil-A in the morning.

It's mid-morning and it's quiet in here. They've got food and decent iced coffee.

It's peaceful. Quiet.

The usually occupied corners are open and I can hide in them, away from people.

Most days, I don't eat breakfast. When I come here, I make sure I get food. It's almost a requirement.

Today's a beautiful day. If anything, the hot air balloons proved it (it's the time of year when Albuquerque hosts the International Balloon Fiesta). It was distracting, but wonderful all at the same time (when I wasn't worried about crashing).

It's peaceful and I'm happy.

Thoughts on Thailand: Worship

Warning:
Church speak ahead!

Our group of five people went to Thailand to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ there.

//end church speak

Basically, our little group was invited by a missionary family that we know and support to come on a short term mission trip to Thailand. We would just be working with a local church's youth group and visiting other Christians in Bangkok.

This allowed us to look at how other people worship. 

Something that really stuck with me was how some of the other Christians worshiped. It wasn't that we could understand them -- in fact, they were singing a Psalm, something that I've never done -- but the emotion that came through was so beautiful.

The family that was worshiping had been through things that I've never dreamed of. Yet when they sang, they sang about how good God was and they conveyed the belief in their hearts into tangible emotions. There was an undeniable joy in their faces as they raised their hands to heaven and praised God.

The greatest joy comes through the greatest trials. They had great joy and they were beautiful.

The Thai church was different as well. It was there that I remembered that worship is work. They worked to worship. It wasn't just a sing-along, something that I've noticed I do a lot. It was passionate, it was let us praise our God because He is good, it had energy, it had life, it was wonderful.

There were some songs we recognized and others we didn't. During the youth camp, we struggled to learn "This is the Day" in Thai. I don't remember anything but the joy that came with being able to sing with them in their language. It was the day that the Lord had made, and we rejoiced and were glad. Upon further thought, it was work -- especially as I struggled to stumble through the unfamiliar words and sounds -- but there was a joy in the work.

That's what worship is. It's work, but there is an overwhelming, beautiful joy in the work.