Growing Up

....means maturity?

What does maturity even mean? Is it a mindset? Something that naturally happens? Is it deeper than that?

The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines maturity as follows:

the quality or state of being mature

Of course, this leads to an obvious next question; what is maturity? Again, consulting the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

having or showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult

This seems to be getting nowhere. What does it mean to adult? Merriam-Webster defined "adult" as follows:

mature and sensible: not childish

Wow. Well, that went full circle on me. Time to consult another source. What does our culture think it means to adult? I consulted the Urban Dictionary to find my answer and came up with the following:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Humorous, but not quite what I was hoping for. I scrolled further down the page in search of something deeper. I was not disappointed.

A depressed child. Adults have the notion that juveniles need to suffer. Only when they have suffered enough to wipe out most of their joyous spirits and innocence are they staid enough to be considered 'Adult'.

The others were interesting, to be sure, but not nearly as capturing as this one. Also profanity. So, y'know.

That being said, is that truly what it means to adult? To be a grumpy, depressed, lifeless being? Does adulting mean that you become a dementor, sucking the life out of others?

I mean, that kinda sucks. I don't want to be a dementor.

Here's the thing. People tell me I have adult qualities, that I'm "mature" and "responsible". I just tell them that they don't know me very well.

They haven't seen me avoiding work. They haven't seen me missing deadlines.

They see me as a role model for their children (if their kids turn out anything like me, they're doomed).

I have a childhood friend who has been an adult since the day she was born. Never in trouble, not really into fist-fights/hair pulling/pinching/teasing like I was. Her sense of humor finally emerged publicly couple years ago, shocking many.

Our families are friends, so we interacted a lot as kids. Throughout the years, her siblings and my siblings (myself included) always looked at her and saw her as the ideal adult. We saw her as "this is what we look forward to -- this is the ideal adulting".

We probably thought it would just magically happen (if it didn't then we'd failed and our families would hate us or something).

Now I'm a legal adult, her younger brother is almost a legal adult... and there has been no magical transformation.

But that's okay. Because adulting is different than what we thought.

It doesn't mean perfection. It doesn't mean soul-sucking. It doesn't even mean boring. It doesn't mean a whole lot, actually.

Yes, there's responsibility involved with getting older. Bills have to be paid, the body needs to be fed, jobs need to happen... As we get older, we have to accept these responsibilities. I think it's part of the maturing process. But that doesn't mean that the fun in life is gone.

Our Tae-Kwon-Do Grandmaster is... a dork. Don't tell him I said that. Or call him that to his face. But he really is. However, he understands that there is a time and place for everything.

If he's instructing, he's very serious. On the flip side, he also enjoys hanging out with us juvenile delinquents in the making and seriously gets into card games like Slapjack (he's super competitive like the rest of us, so games are almost like war because he'll do almost anything to win). He'll throw Hi-Chews at us, toe-pinch us, and tease my little brother to no end -- when the situation allows him to goof off like that. But if he needs to be serious, he'll be very serious and adult-y.

I'm going to take a page from his book as I continue to grow up and mature.

There's a time and place for everything -- especially fun.

Live joyfully, have fun.