I'm the kind of person who can read a book in a day. I usually read whatever book I'm working on in a day.
This book was no exception, but it came close to being overwhelming. If it were any longer, I would have had to force myself to stop reading and take a moment to process everything like I had to do with Brandon Sanderson's Oathbringer.
So backstory time, I saw this book on the shelf at Barnes and Noble a while ago. I went home, put it on hold, and have been waiting for it since then. I picked it up from the library a few days ago.
When there are things I'm hesitant to read because I'm unsure what to expect, I let it sit. This was one of those books. An author I'd never heard of, subject matter I'd barely touched on... I didn't know what to expect.
So it sat on my shelf for couple days. I haven't read anything else during that time (besides my textbook because, y'know, school is a thing) because I'd made up my mind that it was going to be the next book I read. It needed to go back to the library because there are like a billion other holds on it or something. So yeah, can't renew it, gotta read it ASAP.
I finally grabbed it today and went to read it over lunch. I kinda forgot to eat for an hour.
This book made me think in the way that books are supposed to. It challenged things, brought concepts to life, made things REAL.
I mean, I literally just read THE chapter in my MEDIA textbook about racism and reporting on people of color. The Single Chapter, guys. (I think Starr rubbed off on me a little bit -- I want to swear a little bit because sometimes capital letters just don't cut it)
It took the words from the textbook about being careful, about the rules and ethics and #TheWayIt'sSupposedToBe of media and races and genders and issues that usually mean speaking in the tongues of political correctness (which my terrible memory DOES NOT HELP WITH (so if I offend somebody, I'm sorry -- it wasn't on purpose)) and made it real. Showed what's actually happening. Showed that it's wrong.
Just Sunday, I was talking with my best friend about not fitting in. Anywhere. We're both Asian-American and look the part, although she's half and I'm full. We're also homeschooled.
We. Don't. Fit.
We weren't made fun of, but that doesn't make you feel any better for not being white, for not going to public school, for not fitting in.
Maybe that's why this book spoke so powerfully to me. Starr doesn't fit. That was where I could relate most deeply to the character. I don't know where that point hit for others, but that's where it was for me.
I know my experience is nowhere NEAR Starr's, or any African-American's, really. But I could understand, a little bit. And because stories are like that, I could connect with the character and experience it in significantly less detail.
It all sounds stupid and trite, I know, but I guess I just wanted to spazz about it because I know I won't be forgetting this book for a long time.
It takes words and concepts that I've known for a while and makes me live it. It's not asking for pity, it's asking for people to come walk alongside.
At least, that's what I think. Maybe I'm wrong (in which case, I apologize. Please correct me).
But at the very least, this book has made me think.
It's made me realize that I cannot look away from this. I went to Urbana 2015 and was challenged to not look away when things are difficult to look at. I admit I look away when things are hard to look at. I can't watch 9/11 videos. They're too difficult to watch.
I've been looking away from the situation. I still think there's a lot of crap, but there's a lot of crap that goes on everywhere. I can't just look at the crap and judge the entire situation from that.
If I want to be seen as a person, I have to look at people as persons. I have to see the people in and around the situation.
They're not numbers, they're not statistics.
They're lives.
They matter.
I can't look away from lives. Especially when there are lives that don't have to end.
When there are lives that shouldn't have ended.
They're more than the statistics. More than the movements.
They're lives and they matter.
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